The Sluts
Meet the Founders: Dorrie & Gemma
Two women. One dream. Infinite carbs.
Dorrie Delaney-Doordash once claimed she could tell the difference between six brands of wheat crackers blindfolded—and then actually did it, while mildly intoxicated and emotionally recovering from a family game night incident involving Twister and Vodka. She brings to the table decades of cracker-snacking experience, deep-rooted trust issues with gluten-free products, and the energy of someone who once called a customer service hotline to complain that her saltines weren’t “salty enough.”
Gemma Thistle-Bottom is a former semi-professional snack hoarder and self-proclaimed “texture sommelier.” She believes every cracker tells a story—usually one of disappointment—and she’s not afraid to name names. Known for once describing a cheese crisp as “what I imagine regret tastes like,” Gemma’s brutally honest palate and flair for dramatic metaphors make her a fan favorite among people who live for snacks and spite.
Together, they created Cracker Slut as a safe space for crunchy chaos, sodium-laced truth-telling, and wildly unqualified snack analysis. Their shared motto?
“If it crumbles, we judge it. If it’s bland, we drag it.”
They’re not here to make friends.
They’re here to crack open boxes—and feelings.